I can't believe it! I/we won!

Well I can believe it. Of course I believe it. I'm Johnny Miller Barron the world's greatest publicist. I told you so.  

And with artful manipulation I/we/my team/me has pulled off the easiest trick in the book.

Didn't know he could bite, did ya?

You probably heard my client some time ago say the following:

Trump, Wall Street Journal, Sept. 30, 1999: Let’s cut to the chase. Yes, I am considering a run for president. … Unlike candidates from the two major parties, my candidacy would not represent an exercise in career advancement. I am not a political pro trying to top off his resume. I am considering a run only because I am convinced the major parties have lost their way. The Republicans are captives of their right wing. The Democrats are captives of their left wing. I don’t hear anyone speaking for the working men and women in the center.

In the op-ed, Trump said he came to his decision after then Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura — who was elected as a Reform Party candidate — encouraged him to run.

In a CNN interview with Larry King a couple weeks later, Trump said he was forming an exploratory committee and that the committee would look at whether Trump could win as a Reform Party candidate.

Trump on CNN, Oct. 8, 1999: But really, really the big thing they’re going to look in — as — is: Can you win? Can a Reform Party candidate win? Because I believe I could get the Reform Party nomination. I don’t even think it would be that tough. … I’m not looking to get more votes than any other independent candidate in history, I’d want to win. So we’ll see.

Trump told King that he was a registered Republican and that a Reform Party run would mean a split with a party that he was “close to.”

Trump on CNN, Oct. 8, 1999:  I’m a registered Republican. I’m a pretty conservative guy. I’m somewhat liberal on social issues, especially health care, et cetera, but I’d be leaving another party, and I’ve been close to that party.

King: Why would you leave the Republican Party?

Trump: I think that nobody is really hitting it right. The Democrats are too far left. I mean, Bill Bradley, this is seriously left; he’s trying to come a little more center, but he’s seriously left. The Republicans are too far right. And I don’t think anybody’s hitting the chord, not the chord that I want hear, and not the chord that other people want to hear, and I’ve seen it.

So there you have it. He said he was going to do it, and with my help, he did it.

Pundits looking for the answers

You think he meant anything he said during the campaign?  Are you kidding? I wrote all of that stuff. I was going to say shit, but hey, it's what people wanted to hear.

"A chicken in every pot!" "A terrorist behind every Bush!" "Those people are stupid? How do I know! Losers!"

It's easy.  Keep repeating the same mantra over and over and people wake up singing that mantra.  

Sad. Sad lion. Sad lion sleeping sadly. Huge.

Okay, okay, I know you liberals are panicking.  Loading up buses and trains to get outta dodge.  It saves us the trouble by the way, so we don't have to use cattle cars. (I'm kidding! It's a joke! Can't you panicked people take a joke?)

But there is light at the end of this tunnel for folks who are in the know.  Like me.  I'm so in the Know I knew.

And he's not going to stick it out.  He's going to be out of here as soon as he can.  You've heard the term "Governor of Alaska?"  Think that. Governor of Alaska. And then... not so much.  Don't need the angst. Not going to do his health any good.  Because all this stuff is enough to knock anyone off their feet.

If you close them real hard, poof. Not there.

And so - he'll ride off into the sunset.  And all you people will miss him, because the guy who's number two?  Can I just say "There's a reason you pick a guy who should be number two? Because he's a number two kinda guy?"  

Hang onto your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride when he splits.  But you heard it here first. I told you so.  I knew so. I'm so in the know I knew what I know before you heard it.  In the know.  Not in the now.  No point in being in the now. 

The lion sleeps tonight. Sad.

 Can't make America great again if it's great already, can we? So now it's great again, and I'm done.  Out of here. Don't say I didn't warn you/tell you/predict it all.  Because I'm Johnny Barron - the one who knows. And I knew.

Mike drop.  Or dropping the mike.  Or whoever it is people keep dropping.  Johnny Barron Out.

Hot tip. Buy low, sell high.  Or sell high, buy low. Invest in the past.